All Know Metal Bands

http://www.omnivoracious.com/2008/07/gather-near-chi.html

Dan Nelson has descended into the Metal underworld to single-handedly collect the names of nearly 51,000 bands, presenting his research in silver ink on black paper–a treatment sometimes difficult to read in natural light, but one that will glow evilly in the black light of a sunless, suburban bedroom.Cloaked in its Necronomicoid binding, AKMB seethes with ancient magic: a volume which may have been “unearthed from a tomb … or from a metal box submerged in desiccated mud.”Open it at your peril, gentle reader.

All Known Metal Bands lists these groups of “Ur-men” in alphabetical order, without comment, and repeats the names in the case more than one band shared the name. From the heroes of Viking Metal (Thor, Thor’s Hammer, Thorr’s Hammer) to Gothic Metal (Black Wytche, Black Witchcraft Savagery, Black Wolf Sacrifice) and beyond, Nelson has assured “those whose ears are never touched by songs of love and weakness” permanent placement in the record of their cülture, and perhaps more importantly, oürs. More of the immortals:

• Ultra Vomit (2 entries)
• Dark Morbid Death
• Guardians of Profane Secrets
• Lord Goatwarr
• Lucifer in Love
• Ulan Bator (?)
• Violent Marv
• Leatherwolf
• Lazarus Sin
• Necrolust (6 entries, included in nearly two pages of Necro/Nekro variants)

via matt.

Gorbachev

GORBACHOV: THE MUSIC VIDEO - BIGGER AND RUSSIANER from Tom Stern on Vimeo.

via Colin.

Hilarious

Teen Delivers LSD cookies to police department for community service.

There are still heroes

U.S. District Chief Judge Vaughn Walker has ruled that FISA thrumps executive authority and that the rule of law applies, state secrets can’t shield the government from illegal wiretapping.  Now Congress in their inifinite wisdom is trying to strip the case of merit through their stupid immunity update.  What the fuck is wrong with our government.

Too Good not to Post

Someone found this (”Touch My Warp Whistle”) on craiglist (NSFW).  Brief summary - Dude wants to have sex choreographed to Super Mario Brothers 1, by choreographed, I mean he wants the girl to play SMB while he has various phases of sex with her (her paying attention solely to the game)

1-1 = Foreplay

1-2 Regular Sex

1-3 Anal Sex,

1-4 Variety level.

etc.

He even list punishments for dying or taking secret level warps.  Actually pretty creepy.

Ahhh Butters

I was watching a South Park in which Butters makes a Youtube video, it’s actually on Youtube. Not quite as good as other Butters moments, but you’ll enjoy it Jay.

(Mike): don’t you have a candidacy to write?

A Potential Proof of the Riemann Hypothesis

One of the Millennium Prize Problems and one of the most important mathematical questions, the Riemann Hypothesis posits a solution to the distribution of the prime numbers.

Paper Here

For Mike

Beyond Hardcore Gaming, the third party. No more midnight release parties for you!

(Mike): Hells yeah! I’ve never gone to midnight parties, but the evolution of my ‘gaming style’ mirrors his. I still appreciate playing games with other people though (hint)… And I will certainly play games with my kids.

SensorGlove Helps Improve Your Stroke

I think this wired exerpt says it all:

“Maintaining a lighter grip pressure is regularly discussed in every magazine and by all the professional [-----]. The trouble is it’s difficult to learn exactly what they mean by a light grip pressure and most end up with a [-----].

Practicing with SensoGlove will teach you the correct grip pressure for a smooth, consistent [-----] that delivers greater [-----], enhanced [-----] and lower [-----]!

The SensoGlove can be used for backyard practice or during an actual [-----].”

Spore to Feature Creature Censorship

That should minimize the number of penis monster encounters(CRTL-ALT-DEL Comic), they recent lysurpassed 500,000 user created creatures.  However, 19% of these are penis monsters and apparently another 30ish% are recreations of other game/movie/reality figures.  Brings up 2 questions, first how will they censor, and how many people have been enlisted to identify those numbers (apparently a lot of people have gone through the archives to check if they’re a)penisbased, b) copyrighted, c) both).

From what I’ve come across, the game should include a feature which can only be described as this (PA Comic)