Onion GTA Article

Liberty City Police Face Allegations Of Incompetence, Brutality

“I was buying a hot dog from a street vendor in Hove Beach yesterday when I saw someone run a red light, barrel down the sidewalk, careen into a garbage truck, exit his vehicle, steal a nearby convertible, and drive away,” one Broker resident reported. “A nearby police car didn’t even react. But when the car behind him nicked his fender, the officer shot the driver through the windshield and walked away.”

Major: Pre-Ninja

I love this post of a detailed outline for a undergraduate cirriculum designed to train ninjas. The post is written by a dean at a small college, so it’s got all the right buzzwords. Funny snipets include:

Capstone design project: “Ninjas: The Deadliest Mimes”

Pre-ninja

Onion Obama Article

More fake news stuff from the onion. The headline says it all: Black Guy Asks Nation For Change

Election spoilers

November’s result has been leaked.

How I hate FOX News

First there was ‘Mass Effect is an Alien Sex Simulator‘ <– Total Bullshit which thankfully EA (who I generally don’t support for being greedy corporation who whores out their franchise and mostly develops sequel drivel) countered.

Then there was ‘Video Games make School Shooters’ led by everyone’s favorite attorney Jack Thompson. Microsoft rained some hate down for that.

And now just today ‘Video Gamers kill babies’ that’s Video Gamers, not TV slaves, or negligent parents who killed that baby but Video Gamers.

When will the Bullshit end?

I Got What America Needs

From I Got What America Needs Right Here by Jimmy Carter:

Maybe you can help me understand one fucking thing right now, America, and explain to me what in the Christ is going on here. ‘Cause, unless I’m missing something, this country is in the middle of a motherfucking shitstorm, and I have no fucking idea what you’re gonna do to get out of it. I mean, are you seriously considering voting for one of these shitbags you got here in ‘08? Fat fucking chance.